It's Alarming

Don't you just hate mornings? I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep. I try but I just can't. I'm thinking of all the things that need to get done and all the things that aren't done. Soon, all too soon, the Alarms will start going off. First Bart's at 5:00, then Macie's at 5:10. She has to be to School at 6:30 and has to leave the house by 6:00. Then my Alarm at 5:45 to wake me up enough to wake the boys up. Then Brayden's goes off at 6:00 and it takes him and Jaxten about 10 minutes to roll out of bed with my pleading or errr, yelling. Then the phone rings, it's the bus driver to check and see if the boys will be on the bus at 6:38. I tell you it's enough to keep someone awake in the middle of the night, oh yeah, that's me. Now what time do I need to get started again..??? 5, 6, oh heck I think I'll just stay in bed.

I need some get-up and GO!

I think I had people thinking I'm the most laziest person in the world, well at least my kids. Then I started thinking it myself. I just couldn't get anything done...you know the dreaded house cleaning and all the mom stuff my life entails. I couldn't ever vacuum my floors with out stopping and resting. That's when the light bulb or more like a flood light hit me between the eyes. I thought "Something is not right in my body." I feel like a 40 year old in a 70 year old body and my brain is more like an 80 year old. I just couldn't shake this worn out feeling. I finally get my lazy bones to the Dr. and they run all the fun test and come back that I am extremely anemic. The Dr. asked me how I'm even getting out of bed. I admitted that I usually don't until afternoon. She said that she was surprised I'm even getting out at all. The Dr. says that I'm losing blood some where in my body and they have to find out where. I really am not to worried and I'm a huge worrier. Maybe I'm too tired to worry. No really, I feel like they will find what's going on and it will be corrected. It's just a matter of the right test.
I guess I don't have enough blood pumpin' in this body of mine. I have to do a few more test before I can start taking the Iron my body needs. I can't wait to take it so I can start to feel alive again. I was talking to a friend and she said "If your kids were sick and feeling run down wouldn't you get them to the Dr.?" and I know I would first thing, then she said "Then why won't you get yourself there?" and she's right. Why do mom's wait until an anvil drops on us? I could have started feeling better a while ago. So what I'm saying is...Us Mom's are important too. I can see what my job is in this family and when I'm down...everyone is OUT! I have also learned empathy for people who have chronic illness and don't feel good all the time. Health is a blessing not just something we pray about in our prayers. It truly is something to be thankful for...I know I will be when I start to feel better again.

Lost in Love 2~13~1987

Where are these Kids? 22 years of Marriage this month and I still look in the mirror and try to find this girl with curly blond hair. I don't seem to recognize this 21 year old boy with hair. Time has seemed to steal them away into the past. I still get glimpse of them though. They don't look quite as young but the love is still there. It isn't the giddy, starting life anew kind of love. It has been seasoned with peak's and valley's. We have spent more time with each other than we have apart. I think of what Kate on "John and Kate plus 8" says at the beginning of her show..."It hasn't always been an easy life but it's our life." I can't imagine my life with out Bart or our children. Here's to many, many more.

Ancient Chinese Secret

My friend Michelle and I were talking about making Sugar Cookies once. She said "I've got the best recipe, they turn out so soft and crisp." I told her that I had also found a good recipe in an old Relief Society Cook Book . I said "They don't turn out tasting like biscuits." We compared recipes and it turns out it's the same one. She got hers from a town she once lived in and I looked at the Sister that added the recipe, she lived in that same small town. Funny how the R.S. sisters pass things around. Once we find something good, it's no longer a secret! I thought I'd share this recipe since it's Valentines time and that means good ol' yummy SUGAR COOKIES!

Sugar Cookies

1 1/2 Cup Sifted Powder Sugar

1 Cup Soft Butter

1 Egg

1 tsp. Vanilla

1/2 tsp. Almond Flavoring

2 1/2 Cups Sifted Flour

1 tsp. Cream of Tartar

1 tsp. Baking Soda

Cream sugar and butter; add egg and flavoring. Mix thoroughly. Sift dry ingredients together and stir in. Refrigerate 2 to 3 hours. Heat oven to 350. Divide dough in half and roll out on lightly floured surface. Roll thin, but thick enough to pick up. Bake 10-12 minutes. Frost with butter cream frosting.

This makes the best Cookies! Jaxten's face is all the evidence you need.

Renewed Faith

I witnessed something so special today I had to share.
One of my long time and close friends fulfilled a goal of going through the repentance process and being re-baptized. It was not an easy process to go through. I saw many tears and sorrow as she suffer shame, embarrassment, judgment from MANY people and family struggles and forgiveness. This has been an enormous trial. But I saw her faithfully believe in the love of the Savior and his atonement in her life. It was beautiful. The spirit was the strongest I have ever felt. I felt the love our Savior has for each of us. How much he loves her and the gladness he has when we follow the way back to him. I saw how each family member is loved and welcomed back into the eternal circle. Not only welcomed but rejoicing. Her Husband baptized her and I know that the font was full of as many tears as gallons of water. He wrapped his loving and forgiving arms around her and I'm sure felt peace, relief and happiness. How her father laid his hands on her head to pronounce her a member of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints and the blessing of receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. His voice cracked with emotion. She said that one of the biggest things she missed was having the Holy Ghost with her, to guide and direct her, that there is a huge loss when he is not with us. I am so proud of her. She is amazing and gives me and Bart hope. Trials are not easy, we all go through them but when you lose the most precious of all gifts, the blessings of being a member of Christ Church, all others pale in comparison. Being LDS is the greatest blessing and sometimes I know I take it for granted. I have always been a member, my family was always active. I didn't have to seek the missionaries out to attain it. It was my gift from the time of birth. I don't think I will ever take it for granted again. I see the pain and sorrow Bart suffers every day of his life if not every moment. He wants so badly to be re-baptized but because of his circumstances it will still be many years. Today was a happy sad day for him. He was so happy and hopeful but wishes that those blessings for him were around the corner. I told him to envision that for him someday and not to give up hope.
I wish every member of the church could witness a re-baptism of someone. It is the most beautiful thing. I learned so much today. To be less judging of someone, that what a person needs when they are down is love and encouragement not back biting and gossip. It could be anyone of us and what we would want most is to be forgiven and understood not talked about and discussed as the latest juicy story. I realized the love our Savior really has for us. I have been taught that all my life but to see and feel it so strongly is amazing. The Holy Ghost is truly a gift and what happens to a person when they go without him. Our Father in Heaven knows our needs and he knew hers. She had a wonderful friend move into our community just at the right time to help guide, strengthen and lift her at the right moment. Forgiveness is a blessing for the person who has made mistakes but also for the person who gives it.
I saw how many people love a person and who matters most. The song "Each life that touches ours for good" kept going through my mind. She has touched mine. We have share so much together. She has truly been like a sister and I am so proud of her and love her tremendously! She is a Daughter of God. I know, because of this, she will help many of our Fathers children. She can say "I have been down this road and I can show you the way, you will make it."
My heart is full, I am so grateful! What a Blessing!

Dad and Mom were so proud of our little boy!


Jaxten's interview with Bishop Martin

The excitement was building

Jaxten loves Granny and Grandpa

We love our little guy!

Jaxten's Special Day

January 3rd 2009 was a very important day in Jaxten and our families lives. He became the newest baptized member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. It was such a special day. He is usually really shy when it comes to showing any emotion but on this day he was all smiles. He couldn't hold it back. He was so excited. I know it was truly his choice, not just his parents choice, to be baptized. He has really been thinking a lot about gospel questions such as the Resurrection, and the baptism of Jesus Christ. We were driving home from Church the other Sunday with just him in the car. He spent the whole drive home asking his dad and me all sorts of random questions. It amazed me how much his little mind could comprehend. I just think of him as my little boy but he is growing up and thinking for himself.

The baptism was very nice. He planned the whole program. He wanted his Uncles' Erick and Brian to say the prayers. He asked his Granny Karen to talk on Baptism and Aunt Kami to talk on the Holy Ghost. I know that his sweet Grandma Bigelow and Grandma Carlene were there also. Grandpa Bill had the honor of Baptizing him and Grandpa Bigelow confirmed him a member of the church and blessed him with the gift of the Holy Ghost. He wanted to sing "Book of Mormon Stories" and we sang it after he changed out of his wet clothes. He was so happy. He didn't want to plug his nose to go under water so Grandpa Bill just dipped him in. As we were changing him into dry clothes he said "Mom this has been the funnest day of my life, I feel so clean." I felt his little spirit knew what just happened. I can tell that in a sense he HAS changed. We have always fought him with being wiggly during prayers. Sunday as we listened to the Sacrament prayer I didn't even have to remind him to fold his arms and be still. When we have family prayer, he seems to be a little more reverent.
The only thing he could have change was to have his older brother Landon baptize him. I told him he would have to wait another year for Landon to come home from his mission. He was willing to do that. We told him "WE" couldn't wait. He just wished Landon could have been here but when we told him that is what Landon is doing, baptizing people into the Lord's church, he understood.
Aunt Amie asked me if I saw him during his confirmation. She said he had the biggest smile on his little face until Grandpa Bigelow said something about taking a sweet daughter of God to the Temple. She said he kind of got a "not so sure look" on his face. Remember he is still 8. He wanted a pair of Nike's for Christmas so he could run fast to get away from the annoying little girls.

He is excited to have the Gift of the Holy Ghost. He would tell me all the things the Holy Ghost does for someone. "As long as they don't do anything bad, huh mom?" We'll see how long an 8 year old little boy can be perfect, the next lesson will be on what to do to repent......stay tuned!

Jaxten's Birthday 12/26/08

Poor Jaxten. He kind of gets jipped when it comes to his Birthday. I went into labor with him 8 years ago on Christmas day. We drove to Showlow in the middle of a blizzard. That's why his middle name is Snow. We wanted some kind of Christmas, Winter connection. I know, weird but I tell him that it means "Christmas Snow" the most purest of all Snows. We tell him it is to remind him to live a pure life. He didn't come on Christmas but was born at 12:30 a.m. The Nurse's name was "Noel" and the Anaesthesiologist had a big fluffy white beard and smelled like ham. The Nurse's put him in a red stocking and placed a Santa hat on his head. It was a Christmas Story we will tell him every year and share with his children someday. It was our "Special Delivery"

Anyways, when his Birthday comes there is no cupcakes at School, everyone is tired of parties and money has run out. Mom is just plan worn out to plan anything else. He usually ends up with a little money to run and pick out his own presents. He did remember that Grandpa Bill gives money for birthdays so he kept asking Macie and Brayden "How much money did Grandpa give you?" He was excited for that. We were suppose to have his Baptism the Saturday after Christmas and that even got postponed. We will have it on the 3rd of January. I know I should plan more but it's a hard one to get through. He just gets everything in a lump sum. Poor Kid!

We gave him a card with his own money and Granny came through and reminded Grandpa Bill about his Birthday. We made a cake and Aunt Leah and Uncle Sherod came down that evening. It did make it seem like it was a real birthday. He wants to go to the movies and celebrate when he is baptized. He is still little so we can sort of get away with it but not for long!! We are so thankful for our little guy and we are so glad we have him. He still lets us love on him and gives us hugs and kisses. We still need them even if he is a big 8 year old. We hope the hugs and kisses never stop but sitting on our laps to do it is getting a little hard, he is getting so big!